Turning doubt and uncertainty into hope: The story of my own journey with COVID 19

“You must stand unshaken amidst the crash of breaking worlds.”

  • – Paramahamsa Yogananda

To be able to make that stand, and to develop an unshakeable mindset of hope, here are 3 thing to keep in mind:

1. Connection with a community that can support and inspire you, that can lift you up when you fall.

2. To focus on developing an open and expansive mindset to navigate the challenges of this historical moment, leveraging this as a metaphor for life, and see new opportunities in change.

3. The decision to take a powerful stand and LEAD and inspire people –– personally and professionally. You are all leaders.

Fear in the face of uncertainty can blind us to the amazing possibilities that can come out of an experience. Even in the midst of fear and anxiety, we all possess the ability to overcome a situation and use it for our own personal development, even when we are in our dark moments, and it is hard to stay positive.

Now my story:

I came down with COVID19 almost two weeks ago, at least that is what the Dr. ‘s have come to a consensus on, and I share my journey not for sympathy, but to share my experience and pass on to others, who are, and will be going through the something, emotionally and physically. I view this experience as a metaphor of how we can better navigate through life’s challenges. I am on the upswing, and it has been fascinating witnessing myself, mindset and emotions through this process.

I am fortunate enough to be a healthy person, so I know I will recover in full swing. I am passionate about daily exercise, the outdoors and nature, meditation, and practicing gratitude, and deep authentic connection with others, coaching and guiding others to develop a positive and expansive mindset, and strive to model this for others. That is what I live for. However, my mindset has truly been tested over this time, and I have fallen in to some of dark soul of the night moments, but I am out the other side, and will always remember, that this too shall pass.

My partner and I being completely self-quarantined since March 4th, no socializing and doing all the right stuff. Almost two weeks ago, I went for my usual early morning run before getting online for work, with my favorite motivational podcasts on mindset and how we are all connected. I felt strong going out, but near the end I felt short of breath, and something I had never experienced before. That afternoon, I came down with a fever and dry cough, fatigue, migraine etc. Since then, I have mostly been in bed.

Over this time, I talked with several Dr.s who all agreed I had COVID 19, but could not order a test, because I am not high risk, and the lack of testing available, and the tests are saved for those who are immune compromised, elderly, and health care professionals (although since then, a Dr. ordered the test, and I am still waiting on the results). Frustrated beyond belief, especially given my partner Erick is type 1 diabetic, so I took to complete quarantine in my little room, mask. I am incredibly grateful for my partner who continues to cook amazing meals, and leaves them outside my door.

No matter what the outcome, there are real emotional components of this pandemic. By sharing my story is to thank all of those who are helping me through this, as well as my own reminder, that community and positivity are critical to support each other, at any time, not just in a time of crisis in the world. My emotions were all over the place. I went from, denial, to trying to work from my bed and pushing myself too hard, to not allowing myself to rest, and afraid to say, I need to rest, not work. Witnessing my mind go into very unproductive thoughts such as, guilt that I might get Erick sick, to feeling like a complete burden, to the Why ME and angry at the whole situation, to what is happening to this crazy world, and when is this going to end? I did not want to share what was happening with me, as to worry about getting others down. I let my unproductive thoughts overpower me at times. I went into anxiety and depression about the livelihood of others, and the impact this pandemic is having on the world. I was not able to meditate, and my daily rituals and exercise were disrupted with coughing, and not being able to take a full breath. I have been isolated to my bed without energy or motivation to do much. I was worried about my emotional state since I work hard every day to be intentional about being positive, and try to pass on positivity on to those I encounter. 

What has kept me going:

My friends and family with FaceTime calls, beautiful messages and photos, reading positive thoughts, visualizing my favorite memories, and how I want to live this life, being grateful for my work and clients, and allowing myself to be supported by dear heart connections, and most importantly, being reminded of HOPE. This shifts mindset like a flower that is blooming and expanding. I am definitely on the upswing, no fever, some coughing, but still fatigued, and resting until there are no symptoms, and then continued isolation.

I remembered in the face of uncertainty, fear and anxiety that being human, we can only do our best, given our current situation, especially during unprecedented times. If we are sick, then we have to give ourselves time to rest (emotionally or physically), and not be so hard on ourselves, but always to have HOPE, sometimes its hard to find. This to shall pass, and everyday we have an opportunity to ReSoul by ReSetting, ReOrienting, and ReSurging. We are reborn, and a new opportunity to start over. At the end of the day, all we have is our mindset, and sometimes it is hard to shift to the positive if you are feeling physically and mentally depleted.

What I learned:

I can rely on your friends and family, coaches, inspirational people to help, I don’t have to do it all on your own. I remembered (and became more motivated than ever) to live out my purpose and how I want to contribute to the world, and to take action with clarity.  We can all use this time we are in isolation to appreciate the each moment, look at a flower, pet your animals, spend time with family, get creative, savor nature, focus on the now, versus worrying about the future that which we cannot control, and most importantly, to practice and develop the unshakeable mindset in a time of intensity and uncertainty. We are in this together and can inspire each other to do so. Be kind to yourself, less hard, and we all will go through our moments of fear and doubt. Let others help to pick you up. We all can stand as leaders to help each other. We can use this time to dive deep and resolve our deep unconscious patterns of behavior and leverage this opportunity to change thoughts and beliefs that do not serve us. To create daily rituals that contribute to an open, positive mindset of hope and gratitude.

I love my work, and want to do my part and be a catalyst for transformation and change this world. Support each other through this time and leverage it to build community, share new perspectives and ideas for a new world. We can leverage the amazing technology we have to do so in the midst of isolation by continuing our social connections and community.

I believe each one of us has a responsibility to stand up and be a beacon of hope and help refocus each other on what’s truly important so we can get through this situation, with as much grace as possible.

We are all leaders in our life and we are being called upon to share our love and support, to uplift each other, given we are all on this emotional ride together. This will help to create the energy we put out during this crisisI believe each one of us has a responsibility to help refocus on what’s truly important so we can get through this situation with as much grace as possible, and provide each other hope.

This is the foundation of my work, the ReSoul Revolution. ReSoul and ReSurge. I would love to connect and chat with you about your journey and how you are managing through this, whether ill, or not, it is a journey for all of us, and we will come out the other side and create a better world. Be safe, be well, and have hope. Stay tuned for more on the ReSoul Revolution workshops and online community that I will be announcing in the near future.