The “in-between” times of transition are amazing opportunities for growth and reflection

Throughout life, do you notice yourself saying “When this happens, I will be happy, or “When this over, I will be relieved”? 

This is all too common, and a pattern of thought that does not keep us in the present moment and allow for reflection, growth and resilience.

Transition: We are so used to doing, and waiting for the next thing to happen. A new job, a new house, a new relationship, a trip, a death, a different situation, even if seemingly insignificant. We say to ourselves “When this happens, I will be happy” or “When this happens over, I will be relieved”.

While hiking in my hometown, Boulder, CO recently while in the midst of a major life transitions, I noticed a single poppy in a vast field. I realized in this moment that a flower is always in transition. It is the tranquility that the flower creates that stops us to notice, and the quiet patience it maintains, reminding us to find peace, gratitude, and growth in the space of uncertainty. These moments allow us to reflect on the opportunity to develop the awareness needed to build resilience while in transition.

Many of us are in huge, life changing transitions, personally and professionally. Whether it is myself, friends, or clients, each have been experiencing change on different levels internally and externally in lives. Transitions, even if the most exciting, can be incredibly disruptive. Often times, a transition, if not voluntary, can be felt as frustrating, scary, and exhausting. But there is ALWAYS space for observing ourselves, learning, growth, and taking nuggets of wisdom from these transitions, IF we allow ourselves to be present, slow down, surrender to, and embrace the journey.

Making the choice to move from Kirkland, WA to a new state after 23 years and being without a home for a few of months and living in different locations while in this transition, preparing to build a home, helping my mom put my father into memory care and witnessing her challenging transition, watching my father rapidly deteriorate with dementia and all that goes with it, and his response to the difficult transition from being in our family home of over 50 years, and/or awaiting the eminent, his passing is all overwhelming. Keeping life and business going, and starting some new and exciting work projects, these experiences and transitions have been disruptive, heartfelt, hard, and positive all at once. I would not change any of it. In the midst of all of this, I realize that there is tremendous opportunity to be slow down spend time with family, cherish these moments that I will never get back, and surrender to, and embrace the new journey, versus resist it. This is an opportunity to get deeply curious about why, and how I respond to what life throws at me, and how I can let go of unproductive thoughts that have held me back in the past. To notice thought patterns and behavior that no longer serve me, and to create new ones that do through reflection, practice, discipline, and mindfulness. To TRUST and view life as a flow and evolution, and opportunity to shift and change, rather than being victim of the intensity, speed, and holding on to what was. Just as a flower has beauty and is resilient in the most tough, and unexpected environments.

Great questions to ask yourself while going through transition are:

  • ·     What I am learning?
  • ·     What can I let go of?
  • ·     What new story do I want to create?
  • ·     How do I want to move through this time?
  • ·     What I have I learned about myself along the way?
  • ·     What new, healthier habits do I want to create for myself to be more present in the times of transition?
  • ·     And, most importantly, what I am grateful for?

This is an incredible opportunity to take small moments each day to reflect, document, and re-read to track the growth, progress, new perspectives and to develop the resilience needed to move through life’s evolutions.

Life can feel that it is more about the time spent waiting for something to happen than it is about something happening. In this mindset, we are not present and miss the opportunities for reflection and the nuggets that are so special that we can take advantage of, as well as gaining clarity and growth. Big, and small events in our lives are preceded by many days and nights of anticipation, dreaming, planning, organizing, and waiting. The times of waiting in between events small are actually the majority of our lives. These in-between times are anything but uneventful, serve as rich possibility filled with opportunities for reflection and preparation. Whether a pregnant woman waiting the birth of her child, or starting a new job, job loss, break up, new relationship, moving, or an anticipated death, we have a finite period of time in which to prepare internally and externally for the upcoming event that will define a new chapter in our lives.

There is a reason a flower, or any type of change takes time to fulfill itself, just as nature provides the time evolve, grow, shed, and rebuild with resilience and beauty. Give yourself the gift to document and take advantage of the IN-BETWEEN. Savor the beauty and lessons that life provides. In this mindset, you will remain fully engaged in the present as you await your future, which is a vital experience in itself, and will be peacefully surprised at the lessons and the experience the transition provided, and the resilience you have developed.

You don’t have to go through transition alone. If you would like some guidance and coaching through transition, please connect. I would love to help.