March 24th, 2020
My own journey of coming down with COVID 19 and how ReSouled and ReSurged.
I came down with COVID19 last week, at least that is what the Dr. ‘s have come to a consensus on, and I share my journey not for sympathy, but to share my experience and pass on to others, who are, and will be going through the same thing. I am on the upswing, and have been fascinating witnessing myself, mindset and emotions through this process.
I am fortunate enough to be a healthy person who is passionate about daily exercise, the outdoors and nature, mediation, and practicing gratitude, and deep authentic connection with others, to take care of myself and model this for others. That is what I live for.
Well my mindset has truly been tested over the past week and a half, and I have fallen in to some of dark soul of the night moments, but I am out the other side. Always remember, this too shall pass. I will share more.
My partner and I being completely self-quarantined since March 4th, no socializing and doing all the right stuff. Well last week, on Monday morning, I went for my usual early morning run, with my favorite motivational podcasts on mindset and how we are all connected. I felt strong going out, but near the end I felt short of breath, and something I had never experienced before. That afternoon, I came down with a fever and dry cough, fatigue, migraine etc. Since then, I have mostly been in bed.
Over the week, I talked with several Dr.s who all agreed I had COVID 19, but could not order a test, because I am not high risk, and the lack of testing available to those who are immune compromised, elderly, and health care professionals. Frustrating beyond belief, especially given my partner Erick is type 1 diabetic. So complete quarantine in my little room, mask and Erick feeding me through by cooking amazing meals, and leaving it outside my door.
I went from, denial, to trying to work from my bed and pushing myself too hard, to not allowing myself to rest, and afraid to say, I need to rest, not work. Witnessing my mind go into very unproductive thoughts like, guilt that I might get Erick sick, to feeling like a complete burden, to the Why ME and angry at the whole situation, to what is happening to this crazy world, and when is this going to end? I did not want to share what was happening with me, as to worry about getting others down. I let my unproductive thoughts overpower me at times. I went into anxiety and depression about the whole thing. I was not able to meditate, and my daily rituals were disrupted with coughing, and not being able to take a full breath. I was never worried that I was “not going to make it” but, worried about my emotional state since I work hard every day to be intentional about being positive, and try to pass on positivity on to those I encounter.
What has kept me going: My friends and family with FaceTime calls, beautiful messages and photos, reading positive thoughts, visualizing my favorite memories, and how I want to live this life, allowing myself to be supported by dear heart connections. I am grateful for my partner who has no signs, and has been my “tough love” and support to try and get me out of the funk. I am definitely on the upswing, no fever, little coughing, but still fatigued, and resting for another couple of weeks. I was able to finally get the test (another surreal experience), but won’t find out for a few days, whether it comes back positive or negative, is a mute point, except now I can come out of my room (with my mask of course), and help others with emotional components of this pandemic, by sharing my story and encouraging all of you to be there for each other.
My conclusion is that I am human. We can only do our best, given our current situation, especially during unprecedented times. If we are sick, then we have to give ourselves time to rest, and not be so hard on ourselves. This to shall pass, and everyday we have an opportunity to ReSoul by ReSetting, ReOrienting, and ReSurging. We are reborn, and a new opportunity to start over. At the end of the day, all we have is our mindset, and sometimes it is hard to shift to the positive if you are feeling physically and mentally depleted. Rely on your friends and family, coaches, inspirational people to help, you don’t have to do it all on your own. Remember (or figure out) your purpose and how you want to contribute to the world and all that you have to offer. Appreciate the each moment, look at a flower, pet your animals, savor nature, focus on the now, versus worrying about the future that we cannot control. I had to remember this again for myself.
I love my work, and want to do my part and be a catalyst for transformation and change this world. Support each other through this time and leverage it to build community, share new perspectives and ideas for a new world. Leverage the amazing technology we have to do so in the midst of isolation. It’s the ReSoul Revolution. ReSoul and ReSurge. I am even more clear on why I created this workshopJ. To find out more, contact me.